I am horrible at this whole “life” thing!

I suck at life…I mean I am really horrible at it. When I say this, people always tend freak out. They tell me not to think negatively or that I’m being too hard on myself. But lets be honest, how many of you can actually say that you are great at life?! You have everything together all of the time and you know exactly where you’re going in life. If you do, please help me get to your level. Maybe it’s just me. I am just a 19 year old college kid trying to plan out my future.

I feel like I have no idea how to do “life”. Every time I attempt to master it on my own I fall flat on my face. I have had moments where I think I have it all together. But that’s just me lying to myself. Then God taps me on the shoulder and I realize I am completely failing him. I have Christian friends constantly telling me to allow Jesus to guide me. But when I’m at college, allowing Jesus to guide me just isn’t the “cool” thing to do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m having the time of my life. College is the best thing that has happened to me. I just always seem to have this nagging feeling that I’m missing something. It’s as if God is calling out to me but I refuse to listen. We have all seen toddlers who are just finding their independence. Their parents call out to them but they run off in the opposite direction. Forcing their mothers to chase after them. I am that toddler. God is my mother trying desperately to reach me and keep me out of harms way.

“He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him”- John 1:10. God sent Jesus to remind us of how horrible at life we are! I mean, literally, everything Jesus taught us was a foreign concept. His disciples had no idea what he was talking about most of the time! It wasn’t until Jesus died and rose from the grave that we began to have our eyes opened to the light. We fight for our independence and want to prove that we can survive on our own. But we can’t and we will never be able to. How many more times will God have to chase after you. He will never stop coming for you, but even God deserves a break every now and then.

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4 thoughts on “I am horrible at this whole “life” thing!

  1. I think your metaphor about the toddler is hilarious! I think we just need to remember that She will never stop chasing, and unless we are running straight into danger, She is probably laughing as She goes!

  2. Your honesty about your faith journey is very refreshing.Being tight with Jesus in college isn’t usually considered “cool,” but that doesn’t mean that God stops caring. Thanks for sharing your personal experience in a way that can help others during their college years.

  3. I can relate to this just not exactly in the same way. It was my Senior year in high school and football just got over with and wrestling season probably started in a month, but I couldn’t wait that long. I had goals and the only way to achieve them was to push my self. People would always be asking me why I’m being so hard on myself and thinking negatively about what I could do this year. It all started the year before when I lost by a point to miss the state tournament. That summer I had no life I wrestled and lifted everyday and I had no idea what kept me going maybe it was god tapping on my shoulder saying you can do this.
    A month before the season I was working out twice a day. Once I got into season was when people really thought I was crazy I would get to school early in the morning and get a run in before class, then at 10:00 I had no class so I would get a workout in the wrestling room, then at 11:00 I would lift weights, then at 3:30 I would go to practice, and after practice i would stick around usually for half hour to an hour. I was so hard on myself after losing that match that i didn’t want to have that same pain i had the year before. I just thought I sucked at this thing called wrestling and this was the only way I knew to get over it. I don’t know who kept nudging me, but i only hoped it would have went better that year at state. So maybe God does put us in situations that we are horrible at. I did learn a lot about myself that year and it will be a year never forgotten.

  4. I don’t think anyone has quite the right idea on how to “do life.” Just do you! Even if you don’t have everything together all the time, which I can absolutely relate to, that doesn’t necessarily mean you suck at life. Just by being alive I’d say you’re doing life pretty fine!

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